Trigger Warning: body image

Probably the best thing I’ve ever learned in my life is to love myself no matter what body I am in.

For so long, I’d look in the mirror seeing something that wasn’t really there, I was of the belief that I was monstrously ugly, that people were disgusted by my fat, my face, the color of my skin. I lived in that belief and it affected me every single day, it haunted my every thought, every time I would walk into a room I thought everyone would rather I leave, as opposed to having to look at me. I remember the days when I would cry because I’d been invited to a pool party, in fear of being seen in a bathing suit. I remember crying in fear of ever being seen in lingerie. 

These are irrational fears, not just for me, but for anyone. No matter what body you are in, if you want to wear a swimsuit, WEAR A SWIMSUIT. This is not a story about how I changed my size and felt better about myself, because well, that didn’t happen. This is a story about how I changed the way I thought about myself to feel better about myself. 

The first time I wore a bikini to the beach, I was still terrified and uncomfortable, but it was a step that needed to be taken. I needed to see that at the end of the day, it is not a big deal if my tummy and legs jiggle when I run, or that my tummy rolls when I sit down. THIS HAPPENS AND IT’S OKAY!!

Here’s some truth, there WILL be people out there that will judge you, that will dislike you because of your size, your skin color, etc. But it’s definitely not everyone and even if it were you don’t need to worry about them. Your life isn’t FOR THEM. Your life is for you! YOU are in this body! YOU deserve to be happy and live your life as you wish and they have NO say in the matter. Do not give ignorant, cruel people, the power to cage you. Be free. There WILL be people who will love you.

It seriously causes me such pain to see people go through what I went through, to see people in pain because of their self-perception. I hope that no matter what body you are in, you will face your fears, and you will understand that you deserve to love your body no matter what it looks like, no matter what is going on, the least you can do is feel good about yourself, give yourself that much, allow yourself to smile and to feel happy!

Love,

Annie